Q. Dear Meredith,
I’m 24. There’s plenty to do in my area, and plenty of people to meet. I’ve done the apps with not a lot of luck (maybe I was too picky). Most of my friends are married, and the ones who aren’t are all in long-term relationships.
Lately, a few of them have told me that I should look to date someone older. I pride myself on being somewhat of an old soul. I like talking about things like politics, history, music, and sports. I’d like to think I have pretty wide-ranging tastes. They’ve suggested looking for someone in her later 20s or even early 30s. I’m not necessarily opposed, but I also feel most women that age don’t want to date a 24-year-old.
Should I just wait until I’m older and can meet someone more mature? I know there are more mature people my age out there, but I’m having trouble finding them, so why not just put it off?
— Not Sure on Mature
A. You sound curious about what it might be like to date older people, so why not find out?
The age gap you’re talking about is actually pretty small. And really, once you start talking to someone on an app, you get a sense of what they’re all about. Older women will try to get to know you. Then you can show them who you are.
It does worry me that you say you might be too picky. I mean, be selective; there’s no reason to right-swipe people you know you’d never want to meet. But remember that these dating sites don’t give people a ton of room to work with. If you think someone is kind of cute and kind of interesting, it’s worth finding out more.
I wouldn’t rule out people your age, by the way. At 24, I liked to talk about politics, history, and music (not sports). It does take a lot of time to find potential partners. Try to be even more patient, and keep your options open.
If you like talking about things like politics, history, music, and sports — volunteer for a political candidate. Odds are you’ll meet plenty of young coeds with that similar interest. Regarding history: See what lectures are being given at nearby libraries. Music: Find a good music hall near you. Sports: Hit a pub near a local stadium the day of a game. GDCATCH
You seem a bit full of yourself. I imagine this is your number-one impediment in finding a relationship. I’m not sure older women want to date younger men who think they are wise beyond their years, because usually they are not. SUNALSORISES
Everyone under 35 is full of themselves. THEYCAN’TBEGIANTS
I’d start by moving out of the place where everyone is married at 24. ASH
Love isn’t an age thing, dude. It’s a human thing. Don’t focus on age. Focus on finding your human. OrganFailure818
Get Season 3 of Meredith Goldstein’s Love Letters podcast at loveletters.show or wherever you listen. Column and comments are edited and reprinted from boston.com/loveletters. Send letters to email@example.com.